omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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