Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
high people should be assigned attendants
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
