We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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