every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
The Olympian is in my bed
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
