these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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