Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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