I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
