East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
