i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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