She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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