I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
