I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize