Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
