She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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