So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
