Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
