You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
