woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I touched a dick in church today
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize