Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
