I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
