Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
