Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
