Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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