hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
