guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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