you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
