I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
