goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I can text with my tongue
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm just crazy horny about you
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
