like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
