I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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