Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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