Already got asked if we're dating
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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