addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
