I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
