is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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