My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
