i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
