Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
