i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm really busy with my period
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