So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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