Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
