id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
