THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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