her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
