All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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