If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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