College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
do herpes really smell.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
