They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
