Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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