New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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